ON MOTHERHOOD – Patti Quintero of Uma Mother

“Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual, it really doesn’t and if we could really dedicate the time to doing the work on ourselves, like making sure that “I AM the Lighthouse” that Mother is the Lighthouse of the whole family. If she’s showing up stressed and in fear and with unresolved traumas it’s going to radiate to the whole family so the foundation of the work I do is mothering from the inside out. Is making those practices in your life that bring you back to yourself. Not this physical self with the way it looks outside but to my mental wellbeing to distressing myself to having time to close out the noise of how I “should” be doing things. Or what’s right or what’s wrong or what I should or shouldn’t what’s good or bad. To be able to really close out that noise on a daily basis and come back to something that’s more expansive is the greatest gift I think you can give yourself as a mother because when you do that it’s going to be changing continuously because you’ll be able to show up with greater relevance to what’s happening at this moment. Instead of what I’m “supposed to” be doing. “Well everyone says I’m supposed to be raising my child this way.” or “everyone says my child should be doing this at this age” or “I shouldn’t have my kids in bed with me, they should have their own room” or whatever it is that we’ve been indoctrinated to believe, ultimately you’re the only one who knows what’s right and wrong. It’s not anyone else’s job to decide but your job so therefore if we can take the time to actually get to  know what your GPS is from your heart and not your head so much then I think you can show up with greatest relevance and adaptability and really looking at like “okay, these are my kids. No kid is my kid. This is my unique experience with these humans so I’m going to show up differently than another mother would.” And so I think that that’s why I started off with there is no manual, there’s only yours depending on your life, your kids and on how you want to raise them and what you think is important  in raising your children and essentially them raising you.”